Evie Enby
“I recently launched my first poetry collection Your Eyebrows Are Wasted On A Boy, a collection about gender identity, society and a general struggling with the concept of existence."
"Home is about my relationship to the concept of a home, about where I have come from, where I am going and how my identity as a trans person ties into that.”
IG: @evie.enby
Home
Home, it's not just a place
Nor a time
Home is stasis
Home is everything we long to leave
And can't wait to get back to
Home is family who love you
who may never understand you
I left home many times
To be me and to be other people
I pushed against the confines of comfort
To be worse than myself
and better than I ever thought I could be
Home doesn't change as you change alongside it
Maybe someday home will just a building
A four walled shell
When those that defined it are gone
And then what?
Some people strive to make new homes
When they outgrow their old ones
Home is commitment
The last time I went home
I stepped into a time machine
I became every version of myself I had run away from
And I cried
And I didn't want to leave
And I couldn't wait to get out of there
I've been trying to write a show about going home
A performance that neatly encapsulates the paradox
In a digestible metaphor
To quell the raging conflict of emotions that mars my soul
I think that to be queer is to know home uniquely
To dance across the temporal barriers
Of the whens and when-nots
To see every decision that built you
Within every context
To understand the heartbreaking beauty
The fragility of existence
In that moment home is everything
It is regret and it is hope
It is so hard to go home
Because Home is so honest
It is a raw, unflinching reflection of you
A mirror that is impossible to look away from
And impossible to break as you scrutinize every imperfection of self
And yet when Home is all these things
These harsh injustices of self
It is also history
It is safe, it is known
I fear going home
But I can't wait to find it again