Alia Ramna

Alia (@alia_aila_milan) is the Welsh princess of the @welshballroomcommunity, ‘the first Welsh Ballroom Community celebrating the ballroom scene in Wales’!

The Welsh ballroom community is a small scene in Wales, but is recognised in New York as the ‘original birthplace of ballroom’.

Alia is also co-founder of @asianpurrrrrsuasion, ‘a collective of brown trans and queer individuals, giving a stage to show their culture, and share their trauma’. 

A Muslim Trans Daughter 

Imagine having a beautiful heritage full of spice, rice, and everything nice. With brown-skinned Queens gracing Bollywood screens, and beautiful diamond gems that fill up saris.

An Islamic child is born with blessings from Allah swt. Born into a family with a Muslim name. A Muslim name registered at the local mosque which is a heavenly place to pray - but if you go upstairs, where you can lurk and stare at kids in fear at the molvis and the mustajis that keep us there, rocking back and forth, praying to be saved - but not just in a spiritual way. 

As I used to recite the Quran to the molvi, he stops and looks at me as I realise that I cannot repeat what is in front of me. So he asks me for my hand and as I do so he follows up with a slap, and then he attacks. Which leaves me questioning how I am being teached my religion and what happens in my race.

7 years old praying with the scriptures of what I’ve been told, in the month of Ramadan praying in my hands, obeying my fast - imagining, hoping, wishing to wake up the next day on Eid day to see a little Asian princess looking back at me. But it would never be … Until this little Asian queen would fight the fight, something that she'd never seen. At 13, looking at her mobile screen, crying, realising the meaning of transgender. Growing up in a white patriarchy she knows that the colour of her skin will stop her from saying the word 'transgender'.

It would never come across her lips, until she takes the first hit and starts carving the pain into her own skin. While she’s being told to sit up right to not act gay, to pray away, to pray the sathan away. High school bullies are just a phase, but when your own family can’t even see you on your birthday, with a boy's party being forced on display, suicide starts to play a rhythm so loud I can’t seem to just let it take over me.

All the way to 16 on my wallpaper screen, being removed from her abusive family. Moved into care with scars everywhere, not just the ones in her head. She fights to transition, but her family believes in tradition, and little did she know she was going to be revealed to the darkest one yet. Honor-based violence would make her silenced. Moving all the way over Wales from to Llanelli to Caerphilly she starts to transition, but doctors and foster care told her it wouldn't be easy.

She starts her transition, then boys start playing up on these streets as I walk by, I mean - I cannot lie, girl you know they see these thick thighs. I mean I can not lie. God bless me real good, I didn’t have to go into sugary one or twice. The power of estrogen keeps me looking right, keeps my mind on hella tight. Making me realise that these gender norms are not right, and these boys do more than just fight and sexually assault women at night. When they're all full of pride.

So how could I fall in love with a man when all I can see around me are little boys, who just look at the gender and not the person. Still can't get their questions, when there faced with a female in transition. Makes them realise their position. if any one ways to say anything to them, that your girl is not what you think she is, he acts out in violence. 

Black trans women and men, Asian trans women and men, all trans non-binary poc humans have died at the hands and minds of men who don't understand what it's like to be trans attracted. Who don't understand us.

But I can't help it. The serotonin, ocycontin, and dopamine keeps me cuddling with straight boys. Even though they don't deserve me.

And these men and high school bullies can call me a man while they look at me, but I know me. And I know I can be more than what your mind holds for me. An Asian girl who has been beaten to defeat. With everything stripped from her feet. Built myself back up and started to repeat: hormones, self-love, and keeping up with Doctor Dobrik.

Stays in touch with her new found family. The Welsh born community always is believing in you.

At 23, fully me, but Rishi Sunak and the British public have us up for debate. But they are visible and this story’s power will never be devoured by hate and miseducation. 

Tell trans stories and gain wisdom because if there is no understanding, there will continue to be discrimination.