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Jojo

Jojo is a queer lil enby, who somehow made it through medschool and tries to navigate the world. Writing sometimes them to make sense of things. Here are some of their feelings.

“I'm based in Vienna, Austria, actually graduated medschool and would love to work in gender affirming care, but it's a slow process?"

"I write wortbilder (word-images) as I call them, whenever there's the urge to capture something before it escapes or becomes too much to bare - a moment, a feeling, an intrusive thought, anything really. I'm submitting three wortbilder (poems) that really don't have anything to do with one another, and if you chose just one (or none) that's also perfectly fine"

IG: @trite_n_stupid

harness

bold bois don’t need anyone

to hug them when they can

tie themselves up

all alone

bold bois know how to smile

and breathe against the chains

they embrace themselves in

so they don’t

float away

bold bois know how to hold

their heads up high and drift

in and out of moments

softly, and swiftly

allowing themselves to be moved

without breaking

have you been a bold boi?

wrapping yourself tightly

in straps of black leather

to look fabulous and also

to keep yourself from falling apart

bold bois watch their reflections

their sleek power, the glint of metal

and smirk satisfiedly

at how deep they buried

the fragile fluttering in their chest

bold bois welcome the pain

they know how to bleed

and how to keep singing

while they choke

on all the words they don’t

dare to speak

have you been a bold boi?

brandishing your love like

a white flag, waving

waiting patiently

to get shot in the head

have you been a bold boi?

picking yourself up

putting yourself back together

ever so carefully

to try again

seaweed

i swam with a merboi

tangled our legs in seaweed

let the icy water wash us away

dipped my head underneath the waves

until my thoughts froze

my skin prickled

and laughter broke the surface

so free and light, so loved and loving

i was barely there at all

and had the wind picked up

the waves pulled just a little more

i swear i would’ve

dissolved

blissful

after three mountains i stepped into the lake

felt the currents move against my skin

until the cold got prickly

dunked my head in twice

and let the wind and sun dry me gently

a little cloudburst, a scoop of

lemon flavored ice cream

a train and a car ride later

we finally made it back to the house

limbs tired and aching

leaden but deeply satisfied

the crickets are chirping

in the distance thunder rumbles

but there’s sunshine on the patio

on my face, on my lips

beer cold and fizzy in my mouth

daisies swaying in the evening breeze

this, i think, is how life should be

it’s one of the summer days that

feel endless and magical

and just so stunningly beautiful

that for a brief moment, we can keep

our eyes wide open and don’t think

about the rest of the world even once

midnight daydreams

put a hand on your sternum

splay your fingers and

press down gently

feel it

the heaving against stuttering beats

asynchrone

claws razor-sharp, pressing a little deeper until

you feel it warm and wet

pulsing around your fingertips

and press down deeper still to

curl your cold fingers around the curve of your rib

grip tightly and with the next shuddering breath

twist

the creaking cartilage

against the building pressure and pull, yank until it

breaks free

with a squelching sound, exhale against

splintering pieces of bone

wet warm and sticky

gurgling gushes soaking the fabric but

you don’t care you just

loosened the corsage a little

and it didn’t even

hurt that much so you

grin around the metal taste, unclench

your fist reaching for the next

rib to break them all

until you’ve ripped, torn

bent apart

a gaping hole that is

big enough to

crawl out

a rare pleasure

the afternoon felt like

a long hug and a dance-y wiggle

like taking a deep breath or a quiet giggle

casually bumping shoulders

tangling cool fingers

taking a picture to remember

our reflections crouching side by side

in the corner of a mediocre exhibit

a violently pink sunset cloud, der sichelmond

gelber muskateller on my tongue

a smile settling on the corner of my mouth

saying thank you for sharing, thank you

for being here, for taking the time,

for making this easy

feeling seen and heard and valued

stumbling towards the train station

sweaty and out of breath

a blurry hug between closing doors

trying to swallow the absurd gratefulness

a hint of wistful aftertaste

(missing you already)

Faster

i’m a mess of aching joints and ungainly limbs that i force to take me places

be kind, my knee implores me, painfully

kindly please shut up i tell it

and let me run in peace

rest, says my sore achilles tendons

yeah just let it rest, i snap at it

and don’t act up again

i’m already walking, on the verge of tears where i should’ve been running

wild and joyful

or angry and spiteful

or tired and wheezing

but the point is - running

i should be running

with a hammering heart and burning lungs and light feet and the good kind of aches after, the ones that pull your muscles ever so deliciously, the pain that tastes like accomplishments and comfort

instead of whatever the fuck this bitter limping, this lingering sadness is supposed to be

i’m doing my best, okay? i tell them

but can you please

just

heal

faster