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Instagram: @pressctrlzee


I’m not at all confused 

When I look in the mirror and 

Find the misery that kept me

Hidden like an out of date 

Can of soup in the back 

Of my mother’s pantry 

I’m not at all confused 

As I wrap my chest 

And feel my heart bounce 

Through my body trying to escape

This prison it was born in 

I’m not at all confused 

When I learn that we were always here

In every land, in every sect 

In every sunrise and sunset 

Where your eyes meet the horizon 

I’m not at all confused

When people look twice 

Or three times 

Or four times or 

Just stare at all the parts of me 

That don’t make sense

I’m not at all confused

When my brother tells me it’s okay 

But not to tell my nephews why 

I have short hair 

And if my voice deepens, to start sending letters instead 

I’m not at all confused

When I buy perfume and it smells 

Like flowers or wood 

But never a forest and never 

Not making my face burn

I’m not at all confused 

As I walk into my new office

For the first time and my coworker 

Makes furtive glances 

Wherever womanhood should be

I’m not at all confused 

When my trousers hug my hips, my thighs that touch

And yet somehow still leave a gap 

Where my broken masculinity sleeps 

Though I wouldn’t ever say it out loud 

I am only confused 

When I see myself 

As I am

A drop of the ocean in a drinking glass



Boxes are great for putting things in,

Useful for moving house.

An easy choice when ma wants to shut the door

“Come on are you in or are you out?” 

Multiple choice questions on exams

Are the best ones to get 

Because even if you don’t know 

You can always guess

Sometimes there’s a typo 

Or worse - a little white lie 

They didn’t check the answer key 

And something’s out of line 

You’re left to wonder why you’ve only got two choices

And not one of them is grey

But wait ‘til I tell you how gender could be

A hotel breakfast buffet 

The unwritten rules of buffet etiquette 

No dirty looks or foul words

When some of us are going back 

For seconds and then thirds

I can get on board with this,

These rules of don’t ask, just take

Work as long as you stop telling us 

That the world is running out of steak

That simply isn’t true, 

This place is all you can eat

There’s no high scorers in dream buffets

No second cousin you need to beat

Those thoughts about my waistline

Are both bark and bite, 

As when it comes to gender

Well, I’ve got an appetite

Please avert your eyes,

I’m piling my plate tall

Leave me to my tasty gender 

I’m going to eat it all.

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